I offer this parody of a post, which is no way intended to be taken seriously (kids, arson is illegal) in the spirit of the inane juvenile babbling now being offered up by overpaid buffoons like Lorne Gunter, among many, many others, who are no doubt absolutely 100% correct that signing into a climate change agreement that costs rich countries more than poor countries is simply too great a sacrifice to make, even if the alternative is extinction. They’re right. Dying is better than redistribution of wealth!
I am getting increasingly fed up with my neighbour. Both of us eat the same sort of food — I can see them cooking it at the barbecue. Both of us get it at the same place — the local grocery store. It’s the only one in town. If it wasn’t there, we’d both starve pretty quickly.
But you see, there’s a problem. I drive to the store once a week. My neighbour just had their car written off in a terrible accident. Now they say either I have to drive them, or they’re going to take the bus. The bus which I pay for out of my tax money. They don’t pay taxes, because they’re low-income and usually spend half the year completely unemployed, lazing about. So now not only am I paying for my groceries, but I’m paying for them to get theirs, too. This is obviously a moral travesty of the highest order.
So this afternoon, I hit upon a solution. I’m going to burn down the grocery store. That way, they won’t need to waste my tax money gallivanting about town on the bus.Tweet